Tentang Perubahan

Sudah tentu kita sering mendengar berbagai kabar miring yang berhembus mengenai bangsa kita tercinta–saya rasa tak perlu disebutkan di sini.

Jujur saja, sebagai anak rantau yang menuntut ilmu di negeri orang, saya nggak bisa menahan diri untuk tidak membandingkan domisili saya sekarang dengan tanah air. Dan saya rasa, bukan hanya pendapat saya, tetapi semua orang setuju kalau dari berbagai aspek, kita masih tertinggal jauh dengan negara-negara tetangga, baik dari segi ekonomi, pendidikan, politik, maupun mindset masyarakat secara umum. Solusinya sudah jelas: kalau kita mau maju, kita harus berani mengambil keputusan yang telah dirumuskan dengan cermat. Masalahnya adalah, MAUKAH KITA MELANGKAH?

Dari kecil kita selalu dicekoki dengan berbagai hal yang, kalau dipikir-pikir, tergolong ideal: pendidikan moral, pengaturan dalam masyarakat, tata bahasa, ilmu pengetahuan, baik eksak maupun abstrak, tata krama, bahkan nilai-nilai Ketuhanan. Tetapi coba lihat, ketika kita keluar dari dimensi idealis yang hari demi hari ditanamkan dalam pikiran kita dan terjun ke dalam realita, dimanakah semua itu? Yang terlihat hanyalah gambaran akan ketimpangan. Tidakkah kita muak mendengarkan ulasan dalam berita mengenai masalah di tiap lapisan masyarakat, mulai urusan personal para selebriti sampai urusan yang menyangkut hajat hidup orang banyak? Tidak semua timpang, tentunya. Tetapi tentu saja kalau kita mau merefleksikan kembali apa yang telah kita pelajari, sia-sialah semuanya itu kalau lewat begitu saja, tanpa adanya tindak lanjut.

Kita selalu punya mimpi untuk menjadi bangsa yang besar. Tentu, optimisme itu perlu. Sudah cukup banyak, saya rasa, usaha untuk menanamkan optimisme dalam benak masyarakat akan terciptanya bangsa yang lebih baik di masa depan. Satu hal yang perlu kita ingat, yakni perubahan tidaklah semudah membalikkan telapak tangan, apalagi *maaf* buang angin. Perubahan itu seringkali tidak enak; seringkali menyakitkan; seringkali membutuhkan pengorbanan dari kita sendiri. Namun, seringkali kita tidak mau melangkah keluar dari zona nyaman kita. Kita takut sakit. Kita takut dianggap berbeda dari orang lain. Kita selalu mencela orang yang berusaha membawa perubahan positif. Jujur saja, kita pasti tidak suka dengan guru yang sedikit-sedikit komplain soal seragam yang keluar-keluar. Tetapi sebenarnya yang mereka lakukan adalah taat pada peraturan! Saya nggak bisa membayangkan apa perasaan mereka ketika menguping pembicaraan murid yang sedang menggosipkan mereka. Sedikit banyak, saya jadi menyesal juga dulu suka menjelek-jelekkan mereka. Yang mereka lakukan sebenarnya untuk kebaikan murid-murid mereka!

Lalu, apa yang bisa kita lakukan sekarang? Kuncinya adalah one step at a time. Jangan cuma berani bermimpi, tapi ambillah langkah untuk mewujudkan mimpi itu. Dan jangan hanya bisanya mengeluh, mengeluh, dan mengeluh. Mengeluh tidak menyelesaikan masalah. Mari berubah. Lakukan bagianmu, apapun itu. Membuang sampah pada tempatnya. Taati peraturan lalu lintas. Berpikir dahulu sebelum bertindak. Ya, termasuk dalam membeli keperluan (apalagi barang mewah).

Hanya sepenggal ide dari pikiran seorang anak muda. Semoga berguna.

NUANSA’11: CA BAU KAN

October 24th, 2011, 10:21 a.m. A somewhat windy day.

I am still not over it. I am missing so much of it. I am craving for more.

Just like what others said, here I am, suffering from the post production syndrome. Again. Living a life as a student-cum-performer makes me realize that I have to prepare rooms for post production syndromes, even in crucial times like this (with final exam coming in less than one month). And yes, I cannot help but to cherish this moment again.

I still remember how it felt when I first applied for this production. I first indicated “Music Director” and “Lighting” in my application “form”, and ended up getting none of them, while the rest of my friends were already in a certain position. As always, God had a better plan for me. Audition for performers was held months (?) later. Remembering all my stupidity during the committee interview, I decided not to repeat the same mistake again. And there, right inside the audition room, I met the music directors for the first time. I remembered how they asked me to play my instruments, including how they asked me to play the song that I wrote (thought I did not play it perfectly). Really, even after the audition I thought to myself, “This is a good lesson; if you can’t even acknowledge and be proud of your own work, how would other people acknowledge it?” And, really, that burst of fear seeped through me, that I would not be accepted just because of this simple matter. But miracles do happen; I got in.

*Fast forward a few weeks*

We are practicing our very first song, Renggong Manis! At that time, I still couldn’t realize how wonderful things are going to be. All of us musicians just practiced, and practiced, and practiced. Two more songs came out: A Time to Learn Something New, and Da-Mi-Na-Ti-La. Upon hearing Da-Mi-Na-Ti-La for the first time, I could sense the musical feeling of that song. And yes, I started to heighten my expectation for NUANSA’11. Redemption was the next to come: our legendary seven-minutes song at that time.

I could not remember what songs came out after that, as all of them were quite mixed up and they came out simultaneously. Boen Hiap’s Revenge, I suppose. It is a great song that some thought to be cowboy-ish, but after all, it’s quite a good song for villains. No Return No Regret? Most emo song I’ve ever heard. And Kalijodo? Wow, talk about Broadway! Nowadays I can’t help but to think of the intro during lectures. Moreover, the dance moves really reminds me of those great musicals you see only on TV screens in Marina Bay Sands (please tell me if this is too much okay).

More and more songs came out. I can still remember vividly how excited I was when BaWang first announced about C.O.K. (not exactly this one, but roughly they said) “There’s this song about Boen Hiap that sounds like horror circus. Yes, with all the psychotic music box.” And it remains one of my favorites. Especially with the dance moves–can’t be more gothic. I simply can’t wait to see the whole set. And there came Lenggang Nyai, another Batavian dance folklore. Drowning (which changed title into Longing) with its emo pop style, and Do I Love Him? (which also changed title into A Lover’s Confession) that really reminds me of the movie Heart’s soundtrack.

As NUANSA’11 came closer, during recess week we practiced our Finale: Japin Indonesia Ria. Though once this song made me a bit upset as we couldn’t play it with a constant tempo, I still find it quite delightful, especially because we managed to play it well on the show day! And yes, when it comes to background songs, I can’t help but to thank God for working with my fellow musicians. We managed to create background songs that (IMO) fits the scenes well. I marveled at BaWang’s idea to use the minor version of ATTLSN for Tinung and Saodah’s scene–who knew that even a gleeful song can sound so heartbreaking? I really felt emo as  I played the song, you know.

The last few days before the show was amazing as well. Remembering all the stress we had when combining the songs for overture, I was a bit hopeless when suddenly Bryan came up with his brilliant idea: strumming the E chord. That strumming, IMO, led us to finalize two overtures at THAT particular night! I liked the idea of turning Boen Hiap’s Revenge into dangdut as well.

Show day. I can never forget the freezing air, the dim lights, the “all the best” cheers we told each other, the audience’s reactions, including that feeling of loss when I saw the orchestra pit back in its original place. Our home for three days was “demolished”.

Notice that every paragraph gets shorter and shorter. Yes, I’m running out of words to describe how it feels to be involved with awesome people like all of you. Thank God for NUANSA. Thank God for all of you. Can’t wait for recording.

 

KT.

Hello Again.

Sophomore year, semester one, recess week.

Apparently I need to change the title of this blog. It is no longer KT’s Weblog. It is becoming KT’s Diary. Sheesh. I guess the only form of writing I am really good at is writing a diary entry. Not an article. Not a scientific report.

Sophomore year, in fact, doesn’t turn out to be as cool as I imagined. Many things happened, ranging from random things that make you smile all the way to those that shed your tears. More adversity, however, filled my days. I shall not tell you all why. Or should I?

A new life in a new place is not always as exciting as imagined. Thinking that I would have even more time for myself, I decided to move to this new place. Yet, I ended up feeling the same–I am as busy as ever, even more. Then I came to the conclusion that where you live does not determine how busy you are. In fact, it is the activities that you join that determine your level of business. Feeling overwhelmed, I decided to take a break from one of my current activities. And now all the people around me are even busier than me. It is funny how level of business becomes a dilemma: at one side, being too busy is not good for both your physical and mental health. At the same time, being not busy at all might just give you a brain hemorrhage thinking about where to stay next year. Yes, again, meritocracy rules.

Moreover, my academic life does not seem to improve. There’s always something that prevents me from learning my course materials thoroughly–I shall not tell you about this. And my group project is not going well too–oh well. Sometimes I come to the conclusion that life in this country can give you abundant benefits if you are really good at something, and, if you are good at nothing, a life filled with monotony and boredom.

Midterms are coming. See you all on the next post.

 

-KT-how to live a fruitful life?

 

July: Start of A New Chapter

Although I don’t know whether my blog has many viewers or not, here I am, constantly writing what’s in my head. I just can’t help from writing–I simply love writing, despite my so-called “standard” level of English proficiency and my not-so-good Bahasa Indonesia score in the final examination. Oh well, never mind.

So here I am, back in the little red dot. I am here starting a new chapter of my life. It’s been only two weeks since my departure, yet I’ve felt many wonderful experiences, be they good or bad. I am especially delighted to see new faces coming to NUS–the vigorous, passionate faces of the incoming freshmen. Welcome all freshmen, I hope you cherish the university years you are going to spend here. And yes, university is the place where you study not only about your subject of interest, but also about life, friendship, as well as the first and foremost priority of your life.

Pondering through the past year, I felt the mercy of God who has taught me many lessons in life. I felt His unfailing love and everlasting patience through His willingness to teach this stubborn creation of His the truth about life. I would like to share some valuable things that I learned throughout the year:

1. Letting go of one’s pride. I found that pride is actually the root of all my problems throughout the year. It is pride that has caused me to write such stupid posts about comparing oneself to another; it is pride that has caused me to feel inferior when meeting successful people.

2. Look forward and focus on your purpose. Through all the discussions I had with my cell group leader, I (nearly) found myself again. The reason I put “nearly” here is because it is still an ongoing process; it is yet to be completed. He once said, progress is perfection. I found my reason to live again, I found my purpose again, though it’s hard to actually put yourself back on track. Remnants of your past will try to grasp you, making it hard for you to look forward. But, forget your past, and learn something new. Life is too good to be wasted. Don’t cry over spilled milk.

So, here I am, getting ready for a new day. My future might not be as good as other people’s, but I really want to commit myself to the things that God has wanted me to do. I truly pray that my life can be a blessing to others in the upcoming year. And YES,  I want to improve my writing skills. Feedback is most welcome.

Welcome, July. Welcome, Sophomore year.

Apple Questions

Yo friends, I need some clarifications regarding these issues:

  1. If you were to buy a MacBook Pro after July, is it guaranteed that you will have OS X Lion pre-installed in MacBook Pro?
  2. What are the gadgets that have used the Thunderbolt port so far?
  3. Other than World of Warcraft (the one that they show in Apple website) what are other games that can be installed and played in OS X?

Okays these questions might sound somewhat stupid but that’s because I’ve never used a MacBook before. Thanks for your reply =D

A Travel Quickie

Okay. So last Tuesday a few fellowship friends and I, along with our group leader planned to go travel around. Our initial plan was only to visit SKS bookstore and have some decent dinner. We planned to have either dim sum or steamboat. Sounds interesting eh?

Since this is my first time to be in SKS, I find this bookstore interesting. It has a wide variety of Christian books, among which are C.S. Lewis’ works, John Piper’s, Philip Yancey’s, and many others. What interested me most was the complete box set of Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia–I simply wanted it yet I didn’t have enough cash, so to speak, as we’re planning to have dinner later on.

After leaving the wondrous world of SKS, we decided to have dim sum for dinner at Thomson Road. Not knowing our way, we started by looking for a bus–which we missed and the next one only came 25 minutes later. After waiting for some time we finally decided to go to Orchard and take MRT to Newton. From there we tried walking, yet decided to take another bus. This bus, which we believed will take us there, gave us a surprise–it led us to another place instead of our destination.

Lost, we tried to take another way–this time with a clue from our group leader that there’s this certain bus stopping right in front of our destination. So, with our remaining strength and spirit we traveled all the way to Bishan and took the bus there. Triumphantly, as we walk to the stall, this announcement greeted us:

20110506-121456.jpg

Oh well. So we ended up having noodles for dinner and soyabean with cakwe–how to write this?–for supper. It was a tiring journey with an unexpected end, but we enjoyed it anyway.

Mahasiswa Indonesia di Luar Negeri: Salah Kami Apa?

Saya bicara sebagai salah satu dari sekian mahasiswa Indonesia yang ada di luar sana menuntut ilmu.

Beberapa kali di tahun pertama saya, saya mendengar komentar-komentar miring dari beberapa oknum mengenai mahasiswa-mahasiswa Indonesia di luar negeri. Bukan, bukan yang mengatakan bahwa kami tidak belajar dengan sungguh-sungguh, menghambur-hamburkan uang lembaga pemberi beasiswa, dan buang-buang waktu (meskipun ada juga yang berkomentar seperti itu, ups). Komentar yang kami terima berkenaan dengan masa depan kami setelah kuliah: lalu apa?

Di semester pertama saya, seorang teman menulis di akun Twitternya mengenai komentar salah satu mahasiswa universitas ternama di Indonesia tentang mahasiswa Indonesia alumni SMA saya yang kira-kira menyatakan:

Kata temen gw anak ***** ga cinta negara sendiri, kalo uda kuliah di luar langsung lupa sama indo, apa bener?

Kata temen gw lg tuh, anak ***** yang kuliah di indo pun pst tujuannya kerja di luar trus lupa indo deh, ckckckck

Belum lama ini juga seorang teman menampilkan foto komentar seseorang di blog-nya yang bernada “sirik tanda tak mampu”. Klise? Tentu tidak. Dalam komentarnya, ia menambahkan “bumbu-bumbu sedap sok bule” (karena pake bahasa Inggris) seperti “kesuksesanmu nggak ada artinya kalau kamu nggak kembali ke negara asalmu” dan “suksesmu nggak berarti buat kami kalau kamu sama seperti mereka”.

Kenyataan pahit memang, bahwa cukup banyak mahasiswa-mahasiswa Indonesia yang belajar di luar negeri kemudian memilih untuk tidak kembali ke tanah air untuk mengaplikasikan pengetahuan mereka dan memberi kontribusi bagi pembangunan bangsa dan negara. Mengapa? Alasannya beragam; namun salah satu alasan yang paling populer di kalangan mereka adalah masalah jaminan hidup. Salah satu talkshow di stasiun televisi swasta sempat mendatangkan beberapa cendekiawan asli Indonesia yang saat ini menetap di berbagai belahan dunia: Jepang, Swiss, Amerika Serikat, bahkan negara tetangga, Malaysia. Dari apa yang saya ingat, kebanyakan dari mereka tidak kembali ke tanah air karena kesejahteraan lebih terjamin: riset dibiayai, fasilitas lebih nyaman, dan sebagainya.

Kembali ke masalah komentar. Setelah melihat komentar-komentar di atas, kalau dipikir-pikir lagi tidakkah komentar-komentar bernada sirik itu bisa berdampak negatif?  Ada dua poin yang saya mau sampaikan di sini:

  1. Tidak semua orang Indonesia punya mentalitas seperti itu! Kalau mau jujur, saya memang kenal dengan beberapa orang yang hopeless dengan Indonesia, tetapi percayalah dari ratusan juta penduduk Indonesia tidak mungkin semua berpikiran sama! Beberapa dosen yang pernah mengajar saya memperoleh gelar doktornya di luar negeri, dan mereka KEMBALI ke Indonesia untuk MENGAJAR!
  2. Mereka terlalu cepat memasang stigma. Dan, aduh, sikap siriknya itu lho. Katanya (dan ngakunya) mau membangun bangsa, tetapi masalah seperti ini diributkan.  Mentalitasnya senang lihat orang lain susah tapi susah lihat orang lain senang. Kalau sikapnya non-kooperatif dan tidak reseptif seperti ini, bagaimana mungkin orang-orang yang dari luar mau kembali dan berkontribusi? Wong kalau balik tiap hari kerjanya disirikin, kok. Nanti nggak dikasih kesempatan lah, dipersulit lah. Meskipun belajar di luar negeri, kita masih berasal dari satu tanah air Indonesia! Bagaimana mau maju kalau tidak bersatu?

Jadi, salahkah kami kalau kami menggunakan kesempatan yang telah diberikan kepada kami untuk menuntut ilmu, meskipun bukan di negeri sendiri?

Letter of Apology

Reviewed my recent posts and got the impression that I’ve been under a psychological assault. The truth? Sometimes yes, while most of the time no. Sorry for the rants, readers. I know I have been only blabbering without saying anything worth thinking. Blogging has become my diary, where I expose myself way too open, to the extent that I cannot even differentiate between private and public matters.

And yes, now I promise to write things worth thinking; worth reading. No more such things as verbal self torture, but more about sharing life experiences that I find enriching and life-changing. Well, welcome to the new format of KT’s Weblog, readers. The change might be subtle, but over time I will try my best to publish only the best posts. Enjoy =D

-KT-

Value

You never know the value of what you have now until you lose them.

That really holds true for me as well: as soon as I am given wonderful things, I start to take them for granted. I no longer appreciate the core values that all those things have; at times I even complain when things start to happen differently from what I actually want. Like now. I can say I am losing everything that I can possibly lose, until there’s nothing left.

Staying in hall unveils a whole new world before me: I learn new things, I meet new friends, I am exposed to different cultures, and so on, and so on. Yet, even at the start I failed to recognize that this is actually the place for me. I kept on imagining myself staying across the road–my friends are there, my community is there. One year is more than enough for me to be blindfolded and, again, choosing the wrong choice, for the thousandth time in my life.

Once I decided to leave hall and seek for new opportunities, there came the tsunami of “good news” from my friends. They get in to different committees; they move to a novel, promising place where the community seems really exciting and, well, vibrant; they continue to be involved in hall. Me? Here, I am standing on the crossroad, desperately looking for direction. Decided to leave hall but hoped that someday another opportunity to be in hall again might come. And joining no committees to date.

Really, I made a mistake again. I should not have trusted my instinct to leave hall.

Isu Bahasa

Setelah hampir setahun memendamnya dalam-dalam, saya merasa sudah saatnya mengeluarkan unek-unek di jiwa. Saya sih nggak peduli apa tanggapan kalian, saya yakin dan percaya kalian ngerti ini, dan itu membuat saya berharap pesan saya bisa sampai kepada kalian dan kalian bisa lebih memahami situasi di sekitar kalian. No offense, kita tetap teman. Peace.

* * *

Sebagai mahasiswa internasional, saya tinggal di akomodasi kampus (baca: asrama mahasiswa) yang letaknya dekat dengan fakultas saya. Yup, hampir tiap hari saya jalan kaki kalau mau kuliah, kecuali kalau pergi kelas bahasa. Asrama saya ini menurut saya cukup unik, karena statusnya yang boleh dibilang ‘menengah’. Kalau pakai istilah teman-teman saya di sini, asrama saya boleh dibilang “nggak serame hall, tapi nggak sesunyi residence“. Jadi kalau di kampus saya ini, akomodasi mahasiswa terbagi dua jenis: hall, yang sarat dengan kegiatan ekstrakurikuler dan suasana yang “heboh”, dan residence, yang nggak seramai hall. Masing-masing punya kelebihan dan kekurangan, yang nggak akan saya sebutkan di sini. Nah, saya tinggal di hall; tetapi bukan berarti saya orangnya heboh. No. Saya bangga menyatakan diri sebagai orang melankolis hehehe.

Di sini saya berkenalan dan berteman dengan mahasiswa-mahasiswa dari berbagai negara di dunia: Singapura, Malaysia, RRC, dan beberapa exchange student dari Jerman Prancis, Hong Kong, dan Australia. Nggak lupa tentunya, orang Indonesia, teman seperjuangan menuntut ilmu di negeri singa! Berkenalan dan berteman dengan mereka membuat saya cukup bersyukur tinggal di sini, terutama karena kegiatannya yang cukup asyik (meskipun kalau mau jujur saya kurang aktif sih) dan background teman-teman yang sangat beragam. Tapi (ada tapinya), tak ada gading yang tak retak; ada satu dan satu-satunya faktor yang membuat saya kadang jengah dengan orang-orang disini: bahasa.

Bahasa? Yang bener? Kenapa emangnya? Ngomong Inggris lu kurang bagus jadinya lu nggak gaul?

Bukan begitu, Masbro dan Mbaksis. Saya yakin dan percaya kok setiap manusia di hall saya (termasuk saya) mampu berkomunikasi dengan baik dalam bahasa Inggris. Saya tiap hari kuliah pakai bahasa Inggris. Orientasi hall saya saja pake bahasa Inggris. Pengumuman, e-mail, catatan kuliah, semua pakai bahasa Inggris. Hanya saja, saya juga harus ingat dan menerima kenyataan kalau bahasa kedua orang Singapura tak lain dan tak bukan adalah bahasa Mandarin, yang saya nggak ngerti. Dan jangan salah, teman-teman saya yang berasal dari negara tetangga kita (yang suka rebutan sama kita padahal serumpun) hebat-hebat lho. Mereka minimal bisa tiga bahasa, belum lagi kalau mereka bisa ngomong dialek. Dan seperti yang saya bilang, mereka bisa bahasa ITU.

Oh gitu. Lha terus kenapa?

Jadinya begitu deh, di antara mereka seringkali mereka berkomunikasi dengan bahasa planet mereka sendiri. Kadang-kadang kalau lagi dinner atau breakfast, saya dan temen Indo saya duduk bareng mereka, mereka tetap saja nyerocos dengan prokem mereka sendiri. Kadang-kadang masih bisa dimaklumi sih, karena situasinya saya gabung dengan mereka pas mereka lagi ngobrol; mereka nggak punya hak untuk ganti bahasa karena saya seorang dong. Tetapi kadang-kadang situasinya keterlaluan: mereka tahu dan sadar saat itu ada yang nggak mengerti mereka bicara apa tapi tetap nggak peduli.  Dan itu nggak terjadi hanya pas dinner atau breakfast: ketika acara night cycling, ketika sedang ikut kegiatan ekstrakurikuler, bahkan ketika sedang jalan-jalan bareng. To make matters worse, di hall saya bahkan ada CCA (bahasa anak sini untuk ekstrakurikuler) KHUSUS buat mereka orang-orang yang BISA ngomong bahasa dewa, karena nama CCAnya aja udah pake bahasa dewa. Eksklusif? BANGET. Kadang-kadang saya jadi ngerasa saya kok bukan tinggal di Singapura lagi ya.

Meskipun demikian, beberapa dari mereka baik sih; mereka ngerti situasi dan kadang-kadang mencoba menjelaskan pada saya apa yang sedang mereka bicarakan. Jujur saya menghargai itu banget, nggak seperti mereka yang kalau ngeliat saya bengong ala kambing congek diam-diam saja dan terus nyerocos. Walaupun mereka kadang balik ngomong begitu lagi, at least saya merasa dihargai kehadirannya. Meskipun saya kadang kecewa dengan perlakuan mereka, saya tidak mau menganggap itu sebagai penghalang berteman. Friends forever kawan!

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