Expressing myself in writings

October 24th, 2011, 10:21 a.m. A somewhat windy day.

I am still not over it. I am missing so much of it. I am craving for more.

Just like what others said, here I am, suffering from the post production syndrome. Again. Living a life as a student-cum-performer makes me realize that I have to prepare rooms for post production syndromes, even in crucial times like this (with final exam coming in less than one month). And yes, I cannot help but to cherish this moment again.

I still remember how it felt when I first applied for this production. I first indicated “Music Director” and “Lighting” in my application “form”, and ended up getting none of them, while the rest of my friends were already in a certain position. As always, God had a better plan for me. Audition for performers was held months (?) later. Remembering all my stupidity during the committee interview, I decided not to repeat the same mistake again. And there, right inside the audition room, I met the music directors for the first time. I remembered how they asked me to play my instruments, including how they asked me to play the song that I wrote (thought I did not play it perfectly). Really, even after the audition I thought to myself, “This is a good lesson; if you can’t even acknowledge and be proud of your own work, how would other people acknowledge it?” And, really, that burst of fear seeped through me, that I would not be accepted just because of this simple matter. But miracles do happen; I got in.

*Fast forward a few weeks*

We are practicing our very first song, Renggong Manis! At that time, I still couldn’t realize how wonderful things are going to be. All of us musicians just practiced, and practiced, and practiced. Two more songs came out: A Time to Learn Something New, and Da-Mi-Na-Ti-La. Upon hearing Da-Mi-Na-Ti-La for the first time, I could sense the musical feeling of that song. And yes, I started to heighten my expectation for NUANSA’11. Redemption was the next to come: our legendary seven-minutes song at that time.

I could not remember what songs came out after that, as all of them were quite mixed up and they came out simultaneously. Boen Hiap’s Revenge, I suppose. It is a great song that some thought to be cowboy-ish, but after all, it’s quite a good song for villains. No Return No Regret? Most emo song I’ve ever heard. And Kalijodo? Wow, talk about Broadway! Nowadays I can’t help but to think of the intro during lectures. Moreover, the dance moves really reminds me of those great musicals you see only on TV screens in Marina Bay Sands (please tell me if this is too much okay).

More and more songs came out. I can still remember vividly how excited I was when BaWang first announced about C.O.K. (not exactly this one, but roughly they said) “There’s this song about Boen Hiap that sounds like horror circus. Yes, with all the psychotic music box.” And it remains one of my favorites. Especially with the dance moves–can’t be more gothic. I simply can’t wait to see the whole set. And there came Lenggang Nyai, another Batavian dance folklore. Drowning (which changed title into Longing) with its emo pop style, and Do I Love Him? (which also changed title into A Lover’s Confession) that really reminds me of the movie Heart’s soundtrack.

As NUANSA’11 came closer, during recess week we practiced our Finale: Japin Indonesia Ria. Though once this song made me a bit upset as we couldn’t play it with a constant tempo, I still find it quite delightful, especially because we managed to play it well on the show day! And yes, when it comes to background songs, I can’t help but to thank God for working with my fellow musicians. We managed to create background songs that (IMO) fits the scenes well. I marveled at BaWang’s idea to use the minor version of ATTLSN for Tinung and Saodah’s scene–who knew that even a gleeful song can sound so heartbreaking? I really felt emo as  I played the song, you know.

The last few days before the show was amazing as well. Remembering all the stress we had when combining the songs for overture, I was a bit hopeless when suddenly Bryan came up with his brilliant idea: strumming the E chord. That strumming, IMO, led us to finalize two overtures at THAT particular night! I liked the idea of turning Boen Hiap’s Revenge into dangdut as well.

Show day. I can never forget the freezing air, the dim lights, the “all the best” cheers we told each other, the audience’s reactions, including that feeling of loss when I saw the orchestra pit back in its original place. Our home for three days was “demolished”.

Notice that every paragraph gets shorter and shorter. Yes, I’m running out of words to describe how it feels to be involved with awesome people like all of you. Thank God for NUANSA. Thank God for all of you. Can’t wait for recording.

KT.